Friday night against the Mariners Joe Kelly threw a pitch and though everything looked fine, Boston manager Brad Ausmus, along with the trainer, the umpire, and the players gathered around the mound to see if anything was wrong with Kelly.
I have never understood baseball players paranoia with lip reading. They are so worried that some strategy will be read by the millions of lip reading baseball fans or subversive spies in the enemies dugout that they must talk into their gloves. Pitchers and catchers do it on a regular basis.
There was no strategy here. But Kelly put the glove up to his face and talked into his glove. Or did he?
Perhaps he unloaded to Ausmus that he was worried Justin Verlander would find out about his date with Kate Upton. Maybe Joe’s glove is made of chocolate and he was snacking. Maybe he likes sniffing the leather. Is there glue in the glove? Maybe he had a smart phone in his glove and he was using his tongue to Tweet on Twitter about the game. Or maybe Joe Kelly is just a Twit.
What possible advantage could be gained from his talking with Ausmus and the trainer about any possible discomfort?
Glove talking has gotten out of hand. The superstitions of baseball players of yore has given way, they are gone; but glove talking is the 21st century version of superstitions. I doubt each team has a designated lip reader. And if they did, or do, so what. Baseball has been televised for decades and never did I see glove talking, not in the sixties, the seventies, the eighties, the nineties, and into the new century. How all of a sudden did these goofy trend develop. If George Hendricks was the first to wear the long pajama pants and ruin baseball fashion, then who was the first glove talker.
Whoever it was I wonder if he is in a mental ward having a good laugh.