Mariners Loss to Hanshin Due To Twilight Zone

The Seattle Mariners lost to the Hanshin Tigers 5-1 with the M’s sole run a 9th inning homer by Casper Wells. They may lose again Monday-or will it be Tuesday in Japan. It is the twilight zone effect.

Baseball with clock to represent a "curre...

Baseball with clock to represent a "current sports or baseball event". (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It takes approximately 20 hours to fly from Arizona to Japan. You can watch the entire Star Wars saga, the Godfather trilogy, and all the Saw movies (not that one would want to) during the flight. What does a person do for twenty hours on an airplane? Are there islands one can stop at like freeway reststops? Stretch the legs, feel land, buy native trinkets, then hit the skies.

Then there is jet lag to consider. Symtoms include, but is by no means exclusive, are fatigue, disorientation, insomnia, nausea, irrational behavior (discussing the metaphorical existentialism of the Saw movies) mental confusion (thinking the Nintendo owner is really the emperor of Japan) , edema, headaches ( managing the Mariners can give you one anywhere), and anorexia. Symtoms can last from one to ten days. Ten days! Like I said, blame the twilight zone.

Major League baseball only sends teams to Japan that have no chance of winning a division. The Yankees would thumb their imperial noses  if Major League Baseball suggested they fly to the Orient for a goodwill tour. The Yankees will not risk a sub .500 season.  

Thus we have Seattle and Oakland, both of whom have as much chance as winning the division as Hanshin. No one will  blame a losing season on the jet lag once back in the states.  The M’s and A’s are supposed to lose anyway. Conspiracy. I think so.

Hanshin Tigers logo

Hanshin Tigers logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 MLB sends the Mariners and the A’s to Japan like governments send boys into wars. They are expendable. These middle class boys do not have Yankee money to bribe themselves out of war in the Pacific battling Hanshin and whoever they play next.

The good news is that now M’s and A’s fans have a built-in excuse for the losing season ahead. It was the twilight zone effect.

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