The Mystery In The Mariner Front Office

The Seattle Mariner front office is getting crowded.

Joe in his Met days.

Recently the Mariners added two special assistants to aid and abet Mariner General Manager Jack Zduriencik. One is Joe McIlvaine, 64, former scout and general manager of the San Diego Padres and the New York Mets. The other is former pitcher Pete Vukovich, 59 in October.

They join another “special assistant” Ted Simmons. At least I think Ted is still there.

 You see it is all quite mysterious.

We all want to truest jack

The question arises as to what a “special assistant” is and what do they do. Are they henchmen? Yes Men? Provide expert opinion? I know they are baseball men, but why are the Mariners paying all these consultants?

Do they scout the minor league system? Do they scout major league teams?

I know I would like a job as “special assistant.” I can check stats on the computer. I can help Trader Jack draft his fantasy baseball team at ESPN. I can fetch doughnuts. I can provide a myriad of special services. And get well paid.

The point is I would like to see money spent on the field where it counts. The Mariners want to cut payroll and still compete.  But then they hire a dugout full of “special assistants.”

My special advice is cut special assistants and a crony network of former players and whatever service they provide. Spend the money on players.

It would be nice if Trader Jack told us what these men do, what their role is in specific terms, rather than speak in an ethereal and lofty term like “special assistant.”

The Mariners receive millions of dollars from fans who pay high ticket prices and pay for overpriced concessions. The least they can do is tell us how that money is being used. Specifically why they need so many “special” front office assistants.

He buys lots of mooses to help Mariners


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